Round 4 - Theme: Looney Tunes

(Wile confronts the Road Runner, announcing that he should be prepared to be hunted and eaten)
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Wile E. Coyote, Supergenius. I like the way it rolls out. Wile E. Coyote, Supergenius. To continue, I am not selling anything, nor am I working my way through college. So, let's get down to cases. You are a road runner and I am going to eat you for supper. Now, don't try to get away. I am more muscular, more cunning, faster, and larger than you are, and, I'm a genius, while you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten. Now then, I can easily understand why it should puzzle you that a person of my intelligence, I.Q. 207 super genius, should devote his valuable time chasing you, this ridiculous road runner, this bird that appears to be so skinny, scrawny, stringy, unappetizing, anemic, ugly and misbegotten. Ah, but how little you know about yourself. Actually, the road runner is to the taste buds of a coyote, what caviar, champagne, filet mignon and chocolate fudge are to the taste buds of a man. So, I'll give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers.

(Chester and his tough friend Spike walk the streets while Chester is suggesting things that they can do)
Chester: "You want me to dig up some bones for ya? Anything you say Spike. Coz you and me is pals. Dat's right ain't it Spike? Hey Spike, you wanna play ball? Huh Spike? You wanna? Huh? Huh? Huh Spike? You wanna? Huh?"
Spike: (slaps Chester away) "Neh."
Chester: "Nah, you wouldn't like dat would you Spike. *pause* Hey Spike. How bout we chase cars huh? Does that sound like fun?"
Spike: (slaps Chester away) "Neh."
Chester: "Nahaha, that wouldn't be no fun he he. *pause* How bout beatin' up a cat? Would you like dat Spike? Huh? Would you like dat Spike? Huh? Spike?"
Spike: "Cat? You know where is it a cat?"
Chester: "Yeah, sure Spike. Sure sure. I know where is it a cat. (both walk to find the cat) Oh boy, we're gonna have fun beatin' up a cat. Ain't we Spike? (they bump into a cat and chase it. The cat slams a door onto Spike's face) Dat's a dirty underhanded trick to do to ya Spike. I'll show dat cat he can't do dat to my pal."
Spike: "Neh. I'll take care of dat cat myself."
Chester: "Go get 'im Spike! Go get 'im! Spike is my hero".

(Lola has become infactuated with Daffy Duck and becomes jealous when he talks about asking out another girl)
Hello Daffy. I never noticed how handsome you were. You have a really big beak. So, have you given any thought on who you want to invite on your romantic date? And is it anyone I know? (Daffy responds and Lola's tone changes) So, you're gonna go out with her? Whatdya even know about this girl? She could be trouble. She could be dangerous. Not every girl is as "stable" as me. And you said her name is Tina right? That's not even a real name. It's a made-up name like "Ballswick" or "Kathrard". She must have you so duped. You want me to leave? Fine. But you are making a huge mistake. Tina's crazy. She's a crazy person! She's a crazy, fake-named person who's probably a stalker! (jumps out window) I'm just gonna leave this ladder here ... for later. (heads home) I can't lose him. I've got to stop that date. And I know just how I'm going to do it. Is it weird to talk to myself? No it's not weird. You think I need a haircut? I dunno. If you grow out your bangs. Ooooo, that's a good idea.

(Hazel is proud to be known as the ugliest witch of all but becomes worried when a new ugly arrives on the scene. This new ugly is a little girl dressed up in a Halloween costume)
Hazel: "Double double, toil and trouble. Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. *witch-like laugh* Hee hee he he he he he he he. (dances to get some ingredients and passes her magic mirror) Magic mirror on the wall, who's the ugliest one of all? (is told she is) I'm so deathly afraid of getting pretty as I grow older. Pretty? *witch-like laugh* He he he he he he he. (goes back to cauldron) I could finish this goop tonight if only I had some (there's a knock on the door) guests. Coming chaps!"
Kid: "Evening granny. Do you have any goodies for a Halloween witch?"
Hazel: (talks to self) "Witch? I don't remember seeing her at any of the union meetings. But my, isn't she the ugliest little thing? He he he he. (in realization) Huh?! Ugly? (runs back to mirror and scaredly asks) Magic mirror on the wall. Who's the ugliest one of all?" (is told Halloween kid is far uglier) She is?? Darling. Come in come in come in come in. I warn you deary. I'm going to worm all of your ugly secrets out of you. Tell me now, who undoes your hair?"
Kid: "Do you like it?"
Hazel: "Like it? Why it's absolutely hideous!"
Kid: "I did myself up tonight"
Hazel: "There's nothing like a home permanent. Oh but I mustn't be such a selfish hostess. Wait right here and I'll stir up some tea and goodies. Make yourself homely."